Mom Tricks

Posted in Uncategorized by laciemarie6

Lately Ellie’s been regressing a bit. She’s crying like a baby about things like not being able to put the top on her water bottle or not getting the pink straw. She’s also been asking for help getting dressed when previously she loved doing it herself. She’s requesting that someone feed her during dinner, which is clearly not necessary. We’ve been trying to rationalize with her, but at the end of the day we find ourselves beating our head with redundancy. I know a part of parenting is saying the same thing over and over again and I know that’s what I signed up for. But lately I’ve been thinking there’s got to be a better way. And by better, I mean smarter and more clever. I tend to believe Brian and I should be able to come up with creative ways to out-wit our children – we’ve got to be smarter than toddlers, right?

Sometimes I doubt that to be honest. And sometimes it’s good to get help from people outside of our little tunnel. Hence, one of my first Mom Tricks:

1. The Star System: I remember my mom having a chore board for the week for everyone in the family. It was “fair,” which is what all pre-teens absolutely require. We did a chore and we got a sticker for it on the board. I was talking to a friend about Ellie’s recent regression and he said his sister started a star board for her three-nager. “It seems so obvious,” I thought afterward. But my sleep deprived, frustrated brain had not thought of it. So I started talking to Ellie about it. She was whining one night before dinner and I told her if she stopped whining she would get a gold star. She stopped immediately. “Sold,” I thought, “I’ll take ten!” So tonight, this is what I made:

This whole situation made me think of what other Mom Tricks or Hacks I’ve used that other parents might want to know. I don’t have that many, so more importantly, I’d love to hear your comments on out of the box or just everyday tips/tricks that make life with toddlers easier! Here are a few things that seem to work okay for us:

2. The countdown calendar: When Brian or I have to travel for work (which by the way I absolutely dread…don’t tell my boss) we circle the day on the calendar the other one is going to return. Every morning when Ellie wakes up we go in and cross off the previous day so she can see how much closer we are to seeing each other.

3. Kisses and Hugs: Again, this may seem super obvious for some. Piper is one of those children who just absolutely HATES being restricted. We recently gave up completely on the high chair and getting her into the car seat is an everyday struggle. Sometimes the binky works, but as she’s getting older we’re trying to rely on that less. Sometimes a book or a toy works, but the golden ticket is usually the kiss monster. I kiss her on her belly and her face and she stops being a screaming plank. Ellie’s the same way; she knows now that when she’s upset a hug makes her feel better and she requests it almost every time she does something wrong, intentionally or accidentally.

4. Choices: This isn’t necessarily 100% effective, but sometimes giving them choices makes them feel like they’re in control of something. When Piper and I are rocking in her chair at night and she’s struggling to break loose and run amok, I ask her if she wants to get in her crib. She usually says “no” and calms down.

These are a few of the things that have worked for us, but there are so many more things I actually want to know. It may seem like I’m offering guidance here, but really I’m asking for it. What are some tricks for helping kids learn to not throw their food on the floor? Or only talk about poop in the bathroom? Or not pull their sister’s hair constantly? Or not scream at the top of their lungs in the car? Or spit on things other than the sink or outside? Or be perfect little angels all the time? Oh, there’s not a solution for that? Hmmm…I’m shocked.

4May2015

Doctor Appointments for Both

Posted in Development, Wellness by laciemarie6

Today was the first time I took the girls to the doctor together. I figured it would be easier to kill two birds with one stone and by golly I think I was right. It was a bit to manage, but now that Piper can understand and listen a bit, I don’t have to be so hands on. It was Ellie’s 3 year check up (yes, I know it’s a couple of months late) and Piper’s 18 month check up.

First, Ellie stood on the scale and weighed in at 36 pounds, in the 80th percentile. Her height was a half inch from 40″, putting her in the 75th percentile (although I could have sworn the nurse said 95th…tomato tomahto).

Piper laid in the baby scale (in a surprisingly compliant way) and weighed in at 22 pounds, in the 50-75th percentile. Her height is 32.5 inches, in the 75th percentile. Both girls are normal, happy and healthy, so I was very happy. The one part I was a little nervous about was the shots. Not so much because I can’t handle shots (because I can), but because if one totally melted down, odds were the other one would too and what a fantastic mess to work through. I know it’s not that big of a deal, but it’s those little things I think about.

I was surprised when the nurse came back in with the shots that Ellie said she wanted to go first. Before, when the doctor came in I asked Ellie if she wanted to go first or if she wanted Piper to go first and she said Piper. But when the nurse came in with the shots, she was ready to go. I explained to her earlier in the day that I put her Supergirl underwear on because she was going to need to be a big strong girl when the doctor gave her medicine later because it might hurt a little bit. I told her that the medicine would make it so she didn’t get really sick later on. When she sat on my lap I said “Are you ready to be a big strong girl?” and she said “yeah.” I told her to look and me and give me a big smile. The nurse gave the shot right as she smiled and presto! No tears. Yay!

At this point I think to myself that if Piper cries, at least I was one for two. Piper jumps on my lap and I ask her if she’s ready to be a big strong girl. She says “yes” and doesn’t cry either. I feel like I should buy a lotto ticket today!

23Feb2015

E is 3

Posted in Development by laciemarie6

Three years ago seems like an eternity today. We were renting a house in Ballard and I had just had my final day of work before maternity leave the day before. I woke up hoping to go get a mani/pedi and instead I spent 7 hours working hard and receiving our first child. And then time stood still. It seemed like a day was an eternity, which I hypothesize is what happens when people become hyper-present.

Since then, so many life events have happened. It’s absolutely incredible to watch our children grow. Ellie sings all kinds of songs now. She counts to 20, she says her ABC’s, she gives hugs and kisses to her sister, friends and family, and she has a razor sharp memory, something I’m sure will be difficult to keep up with as she gets older. She also loves sparkly things, fuzzy soft things, necklaces, stickers, the color blue, drawing, shoes, painting her nails, lipgloss, and blow drying her hair at night. In those ways, she is incredibly girly and feminine.

It’s exciting and fascinating to watch our little people grow; it’s also remarkable how much we as parents evolve. In the last three years, my priorities have shifted immensely. One thing that hasn’t changed is how busy we are. I laugh when I think back to my pre-kids years and how busy I thought I was. I truly was busy. I was always on the go. Back then I probably thought life would slow down when I had kids. I can adamantly say that is not the case. And I wouldn’t have it any other way!

Happy birthday to my sweet Ellie bear – you are beautiful on the inside and out and I couldn’t be more proud of the little girl you have become!

Some of my favorite photos of Ellie from the past few months are here:

Hair drying master – always done at night when pretty tired.

Snow fun

Riding on the swing at Wiggleworks

Playtime selfie

Taking it all in at her birthday party

She loves her blue dress

Posing with Piper on Thanksgiving

Goggles with sprinkles improves the likelihood little girls will love skiing!

18Feb2015

Progress, Evolution & Perspective

Posted in Uncategorized by laciemarie6

I frequently see posts on Facebook or articles out there about “the right way” to parent. Guidance is the friendly way to define these tidbits. Guidance is always helpful. I appreciate so much the guidance I’ve received in my life. But I find some of the guidance out there seems to come with a grain of judgment. It’s as if I’m not doing it right if I don’t take the guidance. And when I say “I”, I really mean “we.” I have a bone to pick with this guidance. I have a bone to pick because I truly don’t think there’s one right way. I truly think everyone ought to do it the way that works best for them.

Most of my friends and family know I have a few things I am stubborn about when it comes to raising our kids: 1) I do everything within reason to give them balanced organic meals full of vitamins and the right fuel for their bodies, and 2) I do everything within reason to keep them away from screens. These are “my things.” And every parent has their things, things that are highest priority that they don’t waiver on when possible. I know some parents prioritize manners. I know some parents prioritize sleep training. I know some parents never raise their voices at their kids. I obviously value those as well, but they’re not “my things.” And that should be okay. I shouldn’t feel guilty about that and if you give your kids fish sticks and french fries and stick an iPad in front of them at dinner you shouldn’t feel guilty either. We’re all just operating under what we value to be the most important things for us and our families and sometimes the most valuable thing for our families is some sanity for ourselves…can I get an amen?

It probably sounds so cliche but I really do wish there was less guidance in the world and more understanding. We should all feel comfortable sharing our learnings, but we should all feel comfortable taking in other people’s learnings. No one person knows everything, except for maybe Gandhi and Oprah. Lord knows I’m not perfect when it comes to these things, but I am working and striving toward it.

Anyway, I’ll get off my soapbox now and spend a few moments focusing on the progress of my peanuts. Piper, oh where to start with Piper. Piper is such a little wild child. She goes and goes and goes until she absolutely stops. She climbs up everything – in fact, today when I picked her up from school she was literally climbing up the baby gate. I’m pretty sure if I wouldn’t have grabbed her off it she would have made it over. She also loves to climb up all the bars to the top of the jungle gym platform at school. She’s visibly proud of herself whenever she accomplishes anything or gets something she wants. She’s getting her lower molars in and tonight at dinner she kept saying “ice.” Whenever she would say it I took a piece of ice out of my ice water and gave it to her, to which she replied with a larger than life smile and bounced up and down. Speaking of up and down, her new favorite thing is to stand up while yelling “up,” and then squat down while yelling “down.”

Her sister then joins in and they both go up and down together. Piper recently learned how to “kiss” and she is blowing kisses all the time. Brian says it’s because she likes the sound it makes. I also think she just really loves to be hugged and kissed. When I kiss her it makes her so happy and content it’s amazing. She doesn’t want to get in her car seat, really ever, so I just hug her and kiss her pretty much nonstop for a little bit and she seems to calm down enough for me to buckle her in. The most innocent and beautiful thing is to see how Ellie interacts with her now. When Piper makes the kissing face, Ellie blows her kisses and when they’re close enough to make contact they actually kiss. It’s so sweet and pure. It’s also great to see them play together so much. Now that Ellie’s in a different class with older kids it seems like she’s maturing exponentially. It’s hard for me to believe Ellie’s going to be 3 years old in less than a week. I remember when she was born it felt like 3 was an eternity. It’s funny how kids change so much so quickly and it’s also funny how they change us so quickly. Here are a few pics of the girls and their silliness.

With her water bottle from Santa that Ellie has now bogarted.

She loves her giant teddy bear!

Ellie Reading to a baby at school, Harper

Ellie’s first day of “skiing” was mostly composed of eating snow

She can’t resist climbing into our bed at night and I can’t resist taking a picture I’m sure she’ll despise when she gets older:)

4Jan2015

What I’ve Learned this Year

Posted in Uncategorized by laciemarie6

This is our first entire year with two kids and man it is Nuts. Bonkers. Insane. Cray Cray. It’s been a lot of fun, which I’m sure is obvious. But it’s also actually been one of the most humbling years and I’ve learned more this year than any other in a long time, both about my surroundings and about myself. I know Oprah has her Things she Knows for Sure. I’m no Oprah, but for the sake of retrospect, here are the things I’ll try to take away from this year the most. There are many components to our life, so these are a little all over the board.

I can really do anything I choose to. Isn’t it an absolutely incredibly country we live in? We’re so fortunate that we can do pretty much anything we want. This becomes very apparent when I think about priorities. Some people prioritize health and fitness. Some people prioritize their families. Some people prioritize work. Some prioritize learning. The point is there are days when I think to myself, “I’m so frustrated I can’t do that.” And then after a little while I realize that I actually can; it’s just a matter of prioritization. Sometimes I’ll take that information and simply prioritize what I want and sometimes it’s a matter of understanding I actually have more important priorities and I can’t do it all, but I can do what I choose to.
Love is an action. One of the consistent things I hear people try to figure out is love. They want to know how they can make their relationships work for life and how other people do it. Being in a family with divorce and seeing so many people get divorced, I obviously want to do everything I can to not only make my marriage last forever, but be happy doing so. On one of our date nights this year, Brian told me “love is a verb and a verb is an action.” I thought about that for awhile. Sometimes as human beings we get in a funk or something’s not right and we just keep going and doing and operating, but we forget about investing in our relationships. Sometimes all it takes is making sure you look at someone in the eyes, smile and give them a kiss. Simple actions can make our time together more pleasant, even when we feel like we’re caught up in the grind.
Energy and connections are what life is about. There are few things that make me more happy than a genuine experience with someone I’m really connected to. I’ve seen people try so hard to make relationships work when there just isn’t a natural energy or connection. It probably sounds a little woo-woo, but I sincerely believe that there is an element of energy in the world we do not understand and cannot explain. When we force a connection (which I’ve definitely done it the past) it inevitably fails. When we focus our energy on the natural connections that please us, the joy that comes from them is immense.
Imperfection is perfection. I took a Myer’s Briggs test at work this year and discovered what I already knew about myself and what every other Myer’s Briggs test and Myer’s Briggs-like test had told me in the past – that I am a perfectionist. I try very hard at pretty much everything I do. But I think what I’ve learned more and more about perfection as I’ve gotten older is what the definition is to me. Having everything appear to be perfect and look perfect and feel perfect is not perfection; it is stagnation. It is being blind. Perfection to me is trying new things, sometimes failing at them, sometimes being wrong (although not very often in my case…wink wink). Perfection is sharing our failures and our vulnerabilities with others so that they may learn something from them and feel empowered to be vulnerable to us. Perfection in life is feeling the downs so that we may fully appreciate the ups. I love this definition because it allows me to not be scared of doing the wrong thing; it allows me to take action and try something new. As a parent, there are too many things out of my control to be scared of – I don’t need to worry about falling on my face or appearing a little “un-put-together.”
Death is unpredictable and unfair. This year, my step mom and one of my friends lost several family members each. For some of them, we may have known their time was near, but for too many of them, their deaths were completely surprising and unpredictable. Last Christmas my dad spent a lot of time in the hospital and narrowly escaped dying. My dad is not a man of many words, but this Christmas he wrote in our Christmas card: “Love to see your family grow and mature. Enjoy it since it goes so fast. Hoping that 2015 will be joyous and rewarding.” I’ll do my best to heed the advice of enjoying the people around me and my life.
Life is unpredictable and unfair. Every day things happen to us. What I do know is we have a choice about what to put out there in advance and of how to respond after. Even when I know I’m not responding perfectly, I talk to myself about it. If I’m mad about something, I literally sit there an tell myself “you don’t need to be mad Lacie, what is it really going to accomplish?” At the end of the day I don’t want to make myself a happy little robot, but I do want to get better and quicker at processing situations and responding in the most productive way possible.
It’s cliche, but it really is the little things. Sometimes Ellie will randomly say to me “Mom, you look so beautiful” or Piper will blow me a kiss. If joys and sorrows are a bank in life, these little things on a daily basis keep me richer. Cherishing those little moments and responding positively keeps me going and I’ve noticed it keeps the little things more plentiful.
Health feels good. For me, the first year after having a baby is the most difficult. Like all parents, we sacrifice greatly for our kids. Part of that for me has been not prioritizing my normal workout regimen. Getting back into a more active lifestyle makes me feel so good. Putting good food in my body produces the same results. If someone asked me what they can do to make themselves feel better, the first thing I would ask them about is their health. I truly think it’s key.
You can pick your battles with a toddler, but when you do, you better be ready to win. It’s never fun to go through a toddler meltdown. Toddlers are the most one-track-minded people I have ever met. They will wear on you with their request over and over and over again, but once you’ve said no, standing firm is mandatory. I’m no expert for sure (and I know there are many out there), but there is a way to pick a battle and win without a meltdown and in a loving way. It’s tough and definitely a daily struggle, but I truly believe it’s imperative in order to help a toddler grow and learn.
Lead by example. Our kids, our spouses, our co-workers – everyone around us – will respond to us in the way we respond to them. It’s a basic principle we’ve been teaching Ellie. If she grabs toys from Piper, Piper will grab toys from her. If she pushes Piper, Piper will push her. I actually had a breakthrough the other day in the car with Ellie. She was playing with Piper’s new “cell phone” that she got from her buddies Enzo and Archie. Piper was trying to get it from her for a few minutes and Ellie would not give it up. Over and over again I said “Ellie, I know you’re playing with Piper’s toy, but I think she would really love it if you shared with her.” At some point she set the plastic phone down and at some point later I handed Piper Ellie’s Violet (a talking stuffed dog). Ellie kept saying “I want Violet, that’s my Violet.” I said “Ellie, if you want Piper to hand you Violet, maybe you should offer her the cell phone.” Ellie gave Piper the cell phone and Piper handed her the Violet. I literally wanted to jump up and down. The way to get what you want in the world is to give it.
We’re all the same. This is the one thing I’ve thought about so much throughout this year especially. We are all made out of the same stuff. We are all human beings. Some of us were fortunate to be born into lives and families that are more comfortable than others and admittedly I happen to be one of them, something I’m incredibly grateful for. That doesn’t make me any better than anyone else. I literally could have been in a multitude of other situations just out of pure chance. I think about this all the time when I hear people express political views that benefit or harm certain people in the world. I think about it all the time when I hear people give parenting advice. I think about it all the time when something great happens to someone or when something bad happens to someone. If we’re all the same in this world, philosophically we ought to treat each other nicer. We don’t have to love everyone in the world, but by truly understanding we’re all the same and in some way connected, perhaps our actions toward each other would be slightly more positive.

This year has been amazing and incredible, and at the same time challenging and sometimes excruciating. The beauty of a new year is reflecting on that, learning from it and using those learnings to shape the next year and beyond. I guess that’s what a resolution is all about, so my resolution this year is to take what I learned last year and apply it moving forward. Vague, I know. Perhaps lame. But I’ve never been a resolutions person, so why start now?

11Dec2014

Mommy for a Week

Posted in Adventures by laciemarie6

My friend Amber did a brave thing last week. She decided to care for her sister’s THREE kids for a week. “How hard could it be?” she may have thought. I’m not sure what her expectations were, but she posted her daily thoughts through this experience to her Facebook page. I had to share, as I related immensely and laughed a ton. I figured it was worth publicizing through my tiny little blog for the whole world to read.

This is lengthy, but GOOD stuff. Please note I have copied and pasted verbatim!

Post One:

Going to see the family and take care of Aprils kiddos for a week while her and Brandon take a much needed vacation. A week as “mom” will be the perfect way to gain some perspective or lose my mind. Prayers please.

— traveling to Detroit, Michigan from Seattle-Tacoma International Airport (Sea-Tac).

Day One 12/3:

Day one. Was warned Chase likes to pull his diaper down and pee on things. Didn’t believe it until u saw it. Peed on his bed at naptime. Got sheets in washer. Put sheets on bed for bedtime and he peed on himself and bed right after a bath. While stripping bed got a scream from Bowen, “Aunt Amber I need help”. He didn’t quite make it to the potty in time. As Bowen stood in a Pool of pee and poop and looked up at me helplessly I realized the true joys of being a parent. OMG.

Day Two 12/4:

Day Two. First trip out of the house to go to the YMCA so Bowen can go to preschool and Chase plays in the kid zone. This means 2 HOURS of workout and work time. I literally started preparing at 7 am to be able to leave at 9:15. At 9:10 am, we are all bundled up, boots on, coats on and back pack packed…Bowen has to pee. But he likes to pee with ALL OF HIS CLOTHES off. So back pack off, coat off, boots off, pants off…and then pants on, boats on, coat on and back pack. And we are off! As I walked in with two back packs (theirs and mind) and Chase drooling and Bowen yelling, a mom was sitting there with her well-behaved little boy and I looked at her and said, “I’m the aunt with no kids watching my sister’s kids for a week.”. This woman started laughing HYSTERICALLY AT ME (not with me) and the teacher who was also standing there joined in. I have another shot at it next Monday…by that time I will be a pro. This is so humbling.

Then later:

Thanks for all the support peeps! This experience is like a personal development seminar I would pay $6000 to attend to get my butt kicked…but this experience was all for the price of a plane ticket home. I have to say that I definitely had a soul moment when I was working in the lobby at the YMCA and Bowen’s class walked by, he whispered, “Aunt Amber” and smiled and waived at me as he walked by. HEART MELTED. Then I went to pick Chase up and he ran with his arms open to me. WOW, I AM TEMPTED TO HAVE ONE OF THESE was went through my head…briefly. That was awesome. Then the boys and I drew and colored for an hour…I haven’t drawn with crayons (for an hour) in probably 25 years, and then dance and tickle party that turned into spinning the kiddos around (what a workout and it’s so hilarious to watch them stumble around, is that okay to say?), then I had dinner started and April called. I was so stoked, the kids were SO HAPPY and I was rocking it out. They were all talking to April upstairs and then I hear a scream. Arleena runs downstairs and is crying hysterically. She says Bowen hit her. I tell April I got it handled and hang up. Arleena proceeds to write a note on her door that says, “I am not coming out until Mom and Dad comes home”. As Bowen was running away from me, I used the ole “You have THREE SECONDS to GET OVER HERE…1…2…Holy crap it worked. That was cool. No reading of the books was his punishment and he had to look his sister in the eye and apologize…that took a few tries. Chase had me read the SAME FREAKIN book at least 17 times today. I think I am going to hide it tomorrow. Is that cruel? All you parents out there BLESS YOUR HEARTS. I believe I won’t be able to walk by a mom or dad with two young kids and not hug them after this…

Day Three 12/5:

So when do moms eat, put on mascara, go to the bathroom or take a shower? I realized that I had given Chase most of my breakfast because he was hungry and when I got a snack he wanted that too. Tried to go upstairs to brush teeth and as soon as I got the tooth brush in my mouth and I hear a door slam and a cry. Bowen has locked his brother downstairs. Perhaps leaving a 4 year old in charge of a 1 year old isn’t a good idea. BTW I still have to pee, am wearing the same clothes two days straight and got a glimpse in a mirror…I’m officially a hot mom mess.

Then later:

Kids -1, Aunt Amber 0. There is no other way to say it except that I got my ass kicked today. I am still in awe on how little Chase can have so much and so absolutely horrifying stank in his diaper. I don’t get it. It’s cruel. And then I made the mistake of keeping the poop diaper open so I could put the dirty wipes in there and the toy Chase was playing with magnetically landed in the poop and then as I am grabbing the toy and wiping that off, his foot lands in it. Awesome. I also don’t understand why everyone will be playing NICE and then the MOMENT I step out…just for a second, all hell breaks loose? Seriously? There was tears, punches, pulled hair, screams and even blood today. I thought Chase busted tooth on Arleena’s head, but I wiggled it and thankfully it’s still in there good. Bright side is it’s his baby teeth, so we were okay if there was a casualty (at least that is what I was telling myself as I ran to the scene of the crime). At 3:30 and I was planning my trip to the grocery store for wine. I don’t know what April and I were thinking that 1 bottle was going to last 7 days… Arleena walked in the door from school and I took the 1 1/2 year old with me while Arleena watched Bowen. I walked in with my snow boots and yoga pants and shirt I have worn now for 3 days and put that kid in the cart. I bee-lined straight for the wine without making any eye contact with anyone. I picked up my two bottles of wine and placed them in the ginormous cart and rolled up to the check out. Got carded…and successfully made it out of the store with a happy Chase and happy Aunt Amber. I then proceed to try to put Chase in his carseat and he decides that is the last thing he wants to do and he tightens up his body like a stiff board and screams bloody murder. I tried to calm him down but then had to man handle him to get him strapped in and he screamed all the way home. Was it worth it for just 2 bottles of wine? Hell yes it was worth it. Then, I spent an hour cooking a delicious meal only to have the kids look at me like I am crazy because I didn’t realize in the Willer house, the tomatoes in the sauce have to be pureed to a thin consistency and Bowen doesn’t like his food to touch and I had put black beans, chicken and tomato sauce together. I did the 10 bite minimum trick and through sad puppy eyes they obliged but later I would feed them popcorn because I felt bad I had overlooked those details. I am whooped….Chase and I were playing downstairs and I laid on the couch and closed my eyes, he came up to me and said, “Aunt Amber, what’ wrong?”….Oh buddy, nothing’s wrong, Aunt Amber is just tired. I work 12 -14 hours a day as CEO of The Healthy Edge…I don’t have a problem with energy or getting shiz done, but managing 3 independent people who have their own needs, thoughts and ideas about how things should roll is cray cray. Again, I am so humbled. On a bright note, I did get a kiss from Chase and Bowen accidentally called me mom…Although it was a long day (these are just a couple of the details), I am ready to rock this out tomorrow and continue to be present, patient, fun and flexible! Prayers please!

Day Four 12/6:

Day four last night i was up at midnight, 2:45, 4:30 and 6:15. It’s amazing how quickly the adrenaline surges through your body when u hear a scream or cry. And then how do u go right back to bed after that? I thought the wine was suppose to help that. I felt like I needed to take a run or power clean. So I freaked myself out today when Bowen yells: Aunt Amber there is poop on the carpet!! Aunt amber: WHAT??? Show me buddy! Bowen: Right there! Aunt Amber: what should I do Bowen? Bowen: Smell it! Without missing a beat, I reach down, touch it and yes, smelled it. I have officially lost my mind. Just so everyone knows it wasn’t poop. I am also reconsidering wanting boys after watching Chase pull his thing out and marking his territory by peeing on things and then Chase trying to grab Bowens thing when he pees and thinking it is the funniest thing ever…he seriously fell down he was laughing so hard. And Chase running around trying to put his thing on his sister. There was a bit too much testosterone flying around. I wasn’t sure how to stop the madness without putting them in therapy later in life because Aunt Amber wouldn’t let them explore their body and express themselves. I think I may need therapy after this. And what do u do when a 1 year old only says no and u want to tell them to stop saying no. It sounds ridiculous. Chase: NO aunt Amber! No! Aunt Amber: Chase, we don’t say no. You should see the look he gave me, like, really? Off to another day in the trenches.

Then later:

Nap time today means Shower time for Aunt Amber. I LOVE showers because you get to relax and some of my best business ideas come to me in the shower. WITH KIDS…not so much. I felt like a freaking Indy 500 pit stop. I was washing my hair as fast as I could because I thought I heard crying. There is no way I would ever have shaved my legs…Brian is going to be surprised about that when I get home…but I don’t care…seriously. I haven’t showered that fast since our hot water heater broke. Then I get out of the shower and run to the hallway to check if I hear little cries…yoga pants back on, hair half brushed, I did manage some mascara and lip gloss and a NEW CLEAN SHIRT! All is still quiet…going back to brush the rest of my hair…maybe even some blush today! YEAH ME! ‪#‎awesomeauntamber‬

Then later:

Final share and insight of the day. If I could have it my way (as in the words of Burger King), I think I would prefer to pick up my kid at 4 years old and skip the 0-3 year old stage. Chase gave me a run for my money today. I literally felt like I had an eye on him EVERY second (because I am new at this and I don’t want to break someone else’s kids) yet he managed to run the dishwater 3 times today, made some butt soup in his diaper 3 times and one time it was so bad that when I came in the room after an hour it still smelled so freakin rank that I got on my hands and knees and started searching for poop. I was literally sniffing blankets, sheets, clothes and for residual poop,. He put (I don’t know how many before I caught him) puzzle pieces in the vent, managed to find a large spoon that he proceeded to hit his brother with and then run away from me for at least two loops around the house (little shit is fast), he shoved a 1/2 banana in his mouth all at the same time and wouldn’t spit any of it out so I had to just watch and say “CHEW CHASE” and pray he wouldn’t choke and then he took two handfuls of food and shoved both of them in his mouth at dinner and again refused to open his mouth…he thought that was hilarious and let out a belly laugh through his pursed lips that spit the food all over me. At that point all I could do was laugh uncontrollably because I seriously cannot make this shiz up. Chase also graced me with another glorious act of peeing all of his shirt and bed during nap time which I didn’t discover until I picked him up and put him up against my CLEAN CLOTHES and SHOWERED SELF. And to cap the day off he peed in the bathtub and then dumped water on his newly washed hair. Day 4 I survived but not thrived. On a positive note…I was ON IT THIS MORNING and made a green smoothie BEFORE the kids breakfast and allowed them to push the buttons and turn the dial on the vitamix. They thought it was great and Auntie Amber got some needed fuel…and got a mega mom workout with the kiddos and 3 healthy meals with snacks…so yeah me. ‪#‎awesomeauntieamber‬

Day Five 12/7:

Day Five….actually begins with Day Four. Watching Ohio State DOMINANT and I hear the little patter of feet. I don’t know if it was the glass of wine or sugar coma from the 3 cookies I ate, but when Bowen meekly walked in and with tears in his eyes said, “Aunt Amber, I’m scared,” I was putty in his hands. I understand now why some kids sleep with their parents. I put him on the couch with me and told him as long as he was quiet he could watch the game with me. I got the room nice and dim and thought for sure he would be out like a light. Not that easy. An hour later we are chatting back and forth…the kid is funny and I think I was lonely So I take him upstairs and SOMEHOW he talks me into staying in the bed with him until he falls asleep. So at 12:30 I wake up with his armpit in my face and I am seriously like, “where am I?”. On my way to my room, I peek into Arleena’s room and that little stinker is on my iPad watching movies, “But Aunt Amber, you didn’t tell me I could only watch ONE movie.” Rookie mistake. As my head hits the pillow I am EXHAUSTED and not five minutes later little man, Chase lets out a scream…I am freakin out because I don’t want Bowen to wake up and I open the door and as I walked to the crib I stub my toe on a stupid wooden book. I bend over and cuss in my head and take a deep breath and pick up Chase. It’s dark and I can’t see him, but as I am trying to rock him he is so upset that he is holding his breath and for a second I think this kid might pass out. Then what do I do? Smack him around? Nobody told me I need smelling salts for this job. He finally calms down and we repeat this at 1:00, 2:00, 4:00 and at 6:56 he starts in again and I seriously thought it was just a nightmare…there is no way this kids is ready to get up… But he is…and I realize that he doesn’t care that I’m not…I took the challenge to take all 3 kids to church. Another observation of stupidest invention ever: button up dress shirts for toddlers. I got suckered in…looked so cute on the hanger. He was not happy about the buttons and when I did get it buttoned up, I was one off. At this point, I am committed and after 10 minutes we successfully have the shirt on. I decide after what Chase put me through I need to do something to make him cute to me again so I use some of my hair gel and shape a cool little mohawk (adorable) and we are off. Two hour break from the kiddos and worship to the Lord for many things, but mainly a two hour break from the kiddos. I went to pick up Chase in the kids room and it had a stupid childproof fence on the door. I seriously tried to open it and it wouldn’t open…there were four adults standing around inside talking and I had to interrupt them and ask them to help me. Oh, it gets worse. I pick Chase up and they have shut the freaking door so I have to ASK AGAIN (because I didn’t pay attention the first time) for someone to please open up the kids gate…so humbling. As I walked out of church, I’m hungry and tired, I open the door and go to put Chase into the car and Arleena says, “Aunt Amber, that’s not our car”. WHAT? I had opened up someone else’s car. I quickly tried to close it but it’s a stupid automatic door (what is the freakin point of those…it takes so long to shut…I was just praying it would shut already so no one would see.) The REALLY bad thing? It wasn’t even the same color as our car…we laughed all the way home and Arleena couldn’t wait to tell mom and dad. So I think they got an idea of where I am at after day five.

Day Six 12/8:

Oh praise the Lord, the kiddos SLEPT ALL THE WAY THROUGH THE NIGHT! Chase from 7:45 – 7:00 am and Bowen from 9:00 – 8:00! Arleena had a nightmare and ended up in my bed, and besides the four times I woke myself up hallucinating that I heard cries, I got a FULL NIGHT SLEEP! I am READY READY READY TO GO! YEAH KIDDOS!

Then later:

This conversation is only okay in the right context: Bowen: “Aunt Amber, I NEED your help to go potty!” Aunt Amber: “Bowen, you are a big boy and I know that you can go potty by yourself.” Bowen: But Aunt Amber, I want you to take my pants off for me.” Aunt Amber: “Bowen, Aunt Amber is not going to take your pants off for you, but I will watch you, do we have a deal?” Bowen: “Deal!” OMGoodness…what has happened to my life?

Then later:

I thought I was going CRAZY. I change Chase’s diaper in the living room. Usual stuff, nothing exciting and about five minute later he says, OUCH…OOOUCH….OOOOOUCH…and points to his butt. Aunt Amber: “Buddy, what’s wrong?” Chase sticks his finger in the side of his diaper and says, “OUCHIE!”. I pull his diaper to the side and check for a rash or a bite or something and there is nothing. I pick him up and talk to him and after a few seconds he wants down and runs off and plays. About 5 minutes later I hear him in the other room crying and saying, OUCHIE! He runs to my legs and he just keeps repeating OUCHIE, OUCHIE, OOOOOUCHIE. I pull his diaper over again and give another examination and see nothing. I pick him up, talk to him and then he wants down and runs off to play. So after 30 minutes of this back and forth, I am thinking this kid is playing me as a fool. He has to be doing this for attention. I am cooking dinner and not able to fully engage, so he is MAKING ME pay attention to him. So I have a good heart to heart with my sweet 1 1/2 year old nephew, “Chase, Aunt Amber has to cook and I think you are being a faker. The world doesn’t like fakers kiddos. I need you to suck it up and go play…you got it?. Aunt Amber is not going to hold you any more until dinner is ready.” That lasted about a minute and with one more epic melt down I’ve had it. I take him into the living room and lay him down to take his diaper entirely off and let him air out, run around naked…anything just stop crying dude. I take his diaper off and WHAT DO I SEE? A freakin pine needle is in his diaper. I immediately went into baby talk and apologized: “CHASERS, Aunt Amber is so so so sorry buddy. I am sure your tooshie did hurt with a pine needle poking it. I am so sorry I called you a faker…Aunt Amber sucks buddy. Will you ever forgive me?” He smiled…probably from the relief and went on about his way. WOW…humble pie Aunt Amber? Where else is this showing up in your life Aunt Amber? YIKES…another great life lesson from a one and a half year old. Who needs therapy?

Then later:

One more quick rant/observation. Chase is seriously like a stealth ninja. You take your eyes off of him for one freaking nanosecond and the one item in the whole room that he shouldn’t have, he has and it’s in his mouth. Aunt Amber was trying to kill some time so we spent ten minutes brushing his teeth…he loves to put his tooth brush under the water and then in his mouth and suck the water…whatever does it for you buddy. Then he wanted to wash his hands. So we did that for another five minutes. I turn around to get a towel and not more than 3 seconds (seriously) and the kids has the hand soap pump in his mouth and he pumps it. I scream and yell…CACA!!!! and he has a horrid look on his face and he sticks his tongue out and I am using my bare hand to wipe the soap out of his mouth. There’s more. No joke, 30 minutes later, he has a pump of a body lotion bottle in his mouth and as I am running towards him in slow motion yelling, NOOOOO!!!, he pumps it. Same horrid face, sticks his tongue out and Aunt Amber is once again wiping his mouth out with my bare hand. Seriously, from what I have seen this kid put in his mouth, he might shit out a Christmas ornament or sweet smelling candle…or bubbles.

Day Seven 12/9:

Brian and I use to crack up when we saw parents with their kids on a leash. You know, the monkey back-packs with the tail. On day 6 with a 1 1/2 year old, I totally get it and I would buy one…in a heartbeat. At this point I don’t care what looks ridiculous. I had to sit on Chase yesterday at the YMCA. I fully straddled him (on my knees) so he wouldn’t run away so I could zip up his coat. People walking by, Chase screaming, Bowen running down the hall like a madman, two back-packs on my back…didn’t bother me one bit. Jacket zipped up…mission accomplished. Million different ways to skin a cat peeps.

Then later (I think she lost track of her days):

Day 6. I would like everyone’s approval, but I believe I may receive a honorary mom degree after this day. Chase refused to put/keep his bib on…on Day 1..2..3…Aunt Amber would have tried for 10 minutes because the kid is seriously a train wreck when he eats…but TODAY I picked my battle and let it go. This picture represents shirt #1 out of 3 today. Then at dinner we had scrambled eggs and Chase put half of his eggs in his mouth, opens his mouth and uses his tongue to push all the eggs out of his mouth. I scoop the eggs back on to the plate and we keep going…but it gets better, actually worse. These kids eat like horses and I was STARVING and really wanted some more freakin eggs after Arleena polished off the last bit. Chase pushed his plate away and I looked at it….I looked at it hard and I made an epic decision. I wasn’t sure how many eggs left on the plate had been in his mouth, but I didn’t care. As I was cleaning up and managing the chaos, I put some Frank’s hot sauce on the eggs and avocado and ate it. All of it. I’m a bit nauseous as I write this, but I’m not hungry. Had to go to the bathroom and for those of you who have heard me speak at Healthy Edge events…me loves to celebrate poop. So I had to poop and it was definitely not a moment to slip away so I took the 1 year old with me and let him play in the bathroom as I did what I needed to do. He didn’t mind and I kind of liked the entertainment…better than reading a magazine. Go me. Had some success breaking Bowen’s pattern today, he THREW A FIT because Arleena got Cantaloupe and he got applesauce for dinner. (Backstory is that Bowen had Cantaloupe for a snack and too much Cantaloupe and he will shit up his back…and that was not going to happen…not on my watch.) So as Bowen is screaming and crying and about to absolutely lose it…I say…BOWEN WHEN YOU EAT CANTALOUPE YOU POOP UP YOUR BACK LIKE THIS and I get up from the table and make the biggest farting noise I can with my mouth and make dramatic movements with my hands like something is coming out of my butt. Everyone laughed and after doing that about 5 times, he was over it and gulped down his applesauce. Then he pinched his finger and was again SCREAMING (this kid is very dramatic) and I said, BOWEN WHAT CAN AUNT AMBER DO…Bowen: NOTHING! GET AWAY! and he SCREAMS at the top of his lungs. Aunt Amber: Bowen, can I see it? Bowen: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Aunt Amber: Bowen, can I kiss it? Bowen: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Aunt Amber with a straight face: Bowen, Can I LICK IT? Bowen: Ah, (giggle)….ah no. And that was over. And one final story of the night, Yes, I went poop again (Healthy Edgers are loving this) and this time I thought I did sneak away since Arleena was home. I was in April and Brandon’s BEAUTIFUL new bathroom and I FORGOT to lock the door. First Chase opens the door and in a very deep voice I say, “HEY, YOU GET OUT OF HERE” and he screams and shuts the door. Then Bowen, the funny man, starts in and opens the door. I say Bowen, SHUT THE DOOR AUNT AMBER IS POOPING. He laughs and thinks it’s hilarious and of course he is going to do it again. So then I pull out the big guns. Bowen opens the door and pops his head in: Aunt Amber: If you open that door on more time, I am going to make you wipe Aunt Amber’s butt like I have been wiping your butt all week. Got it? There was lots of laughter on the other side of the door but no one opened the door. Aunt Amber 1 – Kids 0.

Day Eight 12/10:

Day 7. April and Brandon are home now and I am officially off “mom” duty and back to just good ole “Aunt Amber”. Today I felt like I had come a LONG way since 7 days ago and even ventured out to the YMCA to take advantage of the 2 hour allotment at the “KID ZONE”. Why wouldn’t a mom take advantage of this everyday? An hour workout and an hour of work and back home we went. Kids went down for a nap. Chase was content in his crib, so I let him stay in there while Bowen and I played. As it neared 3:00 I went up and listened at the door and he was still just quietly talking to himself. So I let him continue to entertain himself…Bowen was digging the attention. At 3:30, the kid had been in there since 12:30 so I opened the door and he greeted me with a smile and a happy yell. I could smell the poop in the pants and lifted him out of the crib, held him for a second and then straight onto the floor for a diaper change. I saw his black pants looked like they had food smeared down the front of them. I touched it and it seemed dry and then of course I smelled it… My worse nightmare, it was poop. I yelled, “It’s POOP! Oh my sweet Lord in heaven, where else is it? Let me see your hands!” He opened his hands and to my horror…poop. The kid didn’t pee on his bed, but he did reach his hands down his pants and…the rest is history. I didn’t know where to start. I grabbed a wipe and started wiping his hands…then I remembered I had put him up against me when I lifted him out of bed…I gagged. I had JUST showered during nap time…NOOOO! I changed his diaper, stripped him down and put him in the bath. This was pretty much how my experience as mom ended. Just when I was getting all melancholy and sentimental about our time being over…BAAAM! The kid shits his pants and plays in it. I’m out. I have to say that this experience has built so much appreciation and empathy for EVERY PARENT out there, ESPECIALLY those that are doing it alone. Here are just some random take aways that I haven’t vented yet:
1) I always wondered why April was always so behind on laundry…now I get it. It isn’t that DOING the laundry is hard, it’s the actual folding and getting it into it’s proper place that’s difficult. I have 3 baskets full of folded laundry, but during my free time (naps and night) the kids are in their rooms…I get it now.
2) Washing your hands 25 times a day is BRUTAL! My hands feel like I dipped them in acid. Dry, scaly, red and they burn from all the hand washing and half drying them to go on to the next task. Ugh.
3) If I had children and my husband and I did date night, we would ALWAYS go out to eat, not because I don’t have to cook but because I can EAT AS MUCH AS I WANT and it isn’t food that has been dropped on the floor, spit out of someone’s mouth or left on their plate….can I get an AMEN?
4) Wine by the bottle is a joke. A box of wine is the only way to go.
5) Just because I didn’t have time to shave my legs doesn’t mean that goes for the armpits as well…kind of scary today when I was doing overhead presses and got a glimpse of my pits…oops.
I am sure more will come to me tomorrow…I’m having a glass of wine.

4Nov2014

We made it a Year!

Posted in Development by laciemarie6

When we first found out we were pregnant, Ellie was still pretty young. We were definitely excited, but we knew it was going to be tough. With Ellie, getting to one year was such an accomplishment. We felt like we crossed some sort of imaginary “finish” line and we had been officially broken in as parents. The dynamic starts to flow and the hiccups become easier to navigate. So when we found out we were pregnant with Piper, I looked at Brian and said “we just have to make it to a year.” And now we’re here! It’s pretty crazy now to think how incredibly fast the last year has gone by. So much growth has occurred with our girls in the last year and honestly I think on a frequent basis how amazingly blessed we are.

I told someone at Piper’s birthday party that having kids is somewhat like being a teenager again in that one moment you feel like you want to scream and the next you’re so in love you can’t imagine life without them.

Speaking of Piper’s Birthday, we absolutely had such a blast. We had a pumpkin theme for the party, which was executed via much googling and pinteresting! It was so fun to have friends and family over. Piper had a blast. She’s such a ham and it was truly the first time I had faith someone was going to be watching her. Amazingly, it was true. Here are a bunch of photos from the party.

Picasso in training

As if that weren’t enough photos, we also took a pic of Piper to complete her monthly photos during her first year. Brian is definitely excited we don’t have to struggle with a very active independent Piper to get a decent still picture of her anymore and I’m just mostly in love with how much this picture truly emulates our emotion about making it to a year. Now, if time could please slow down, we would be very grateful.

7Oct2014

Piper’s 11 Months

Posted in Development by laciemarie6

Piper turned 11 months last Thursday, while I was in Austin for work – tear, sniff, tear. Before Piper was born, Brian and I talked about nursing and I was pretty adamant I wanted to do everything I could to nurse until she was 1 year old. Now that she’s 11 months old, when I got home from Austin, Brian asked me if I was excited I was almost there. After a day or two of that setting in I started to get really excited that I’m ALMOST THERE! In a few weeks, I’ll have an hour+ back every day and we won’t be washing pump parts every other day. I won’t have to pack an extra bag for work every day. I won’t have to pack a bigger suitcase when I travel for work just to house my pump parts. I won’t have to have the hotel deliver a fridge and arrange for everything to be put in a freezer when I have a later flight. I can go on a diet and not be scared about my production. I can stop taking Fenugreek!!! But…enough about me…

Piper’s 11 Months old and I can really hardly believe it. She’s such a fun little girl. She’s started wanting to go down stairs (gasp), so we’ve started holding her hand as she goes. She has started bending her knees every once in while, but most of the time we’re confident she would have fallen if we weren’t holding her hand. That’s how babies learn though and every time she’s about to fall but we save her, I can tell on her face she’s learning from her mistakes.

I can’t imagine being more in love with our little girls. It’s so incredible how much joy I feel watching their progress and their personalities. Of course it’s incredibly difficult, exhausting and sometimes stressful, but what’s the cliche? Oh yeah, nothing good ever comes easy. Ellie has gone through so many different stages as a big sister. In the beginning she was slightly ignorant, then she became a little jealous, and now she’s mostly excited to play with her sister and “guide” her to do certain things with her. She loves to show Piper how to use the toys and she takes her around the house doing all the fun stuff like washing the windows and calling to Max. I can just imagine them when they get a little older, and even when they become teenagers and young women. Of course every parent wants their kids to be bosom buddies. I’m sure there will be times of that, but also times of conflict. All of the good and the bad is what really makes a relationship stronger and I truly don’t want our girls to have a perfect relationship, just a true, genuine and strong one.

This month, my Grandma Geri was in town, so we took our Piper pic while Ellie and Brian celebrated Nana’s birthday. I combined all the photos so we could see the progress throughout the months. Here are a few shots from the night.

2Sep2014

Piper’s 10 Months!

Posted in Uncategorized by laciemarie6

The last month has been such a joy watching Piper grow beyond her months. I watch her with complete disbelief in what she is able to do and I try to mentally prepare myself for what I speculate is going to be a relatively stressful ride through toddlerdom and teenagehood with this brave, invincible, social, happy, stubborn little human being.

When other people hang out with Piper we almost always hear two things:

Wow, she never stops moving!

and

I’ve never seen a baby smile so much.

Both comments are always taken mostly well, but it’s not until you spend time with this gal on a daily basis for ten months that you really start to understand her courage. She literally tried to crawl off the changing table. I let go of her and right as she was about to go over I caught her legs. When she first started walking, she just kept trying to walk everywhere even though she was completely falling all over the place. It was like the phrase “no pain, no gain” was somehow pre-programmed into her cute little head.

I can also see her learning very quickly how to get what she wants from her very independent, ruling big sister. She’s scrappy and I keep warning Ellie that she better be nice to her because one day Piper is going to be big enough to take things back and push back. She doesn’t listen, just like I never listened. And then my brother actually did get bigger than me, but I lucked out because he was nice enough not to beat up on me.

Piper has two teeth and she’s eating pretty much everything we are, but we just blend it up. Here is her ten month pic, which we took before dinner so as to avoid particles of cauliflower and pork showing up in places they really should never be.

10Aug2014

Piper’s 9 Months

Posted in Development by laciemarie6

This post is actually a week or so late unfortunately, but with good cause. Last Thursday we trekked over to Cle Elem for the Heras/Parris wedding, came back Sunday and then Sunday night I flew out to London for work. I got back on Friday, so things have been a little crazy busy. As a sidenote, traveling for that long internationally when you’re still nursing is quite the experience. I packed a ton of pump parts and a scrub brush, but it’s not particularly easy to execute pumping and cleaning in a foreign land. Then when I got to security, TSA at Heathrow told me I couldn’t bring my breast milk on the plane with me since my baby was not with me. This was the 4th time I’ve traveled since going back to work and I’ve never been told that. Additionally, I had done my research and there is nothing on the TSA website that lists that as a requirement. Lastly, why would I have a ton of breast milk if my baby were with me? It just seemed crazy, but not having worked through this rationale in my head at the time I was just upset because I didn’t want to lose my milk. I ended up being able to check it all, so it all worked out in the end, thank goodness!

I made it back from London in one piece and one of the first things I asked Brian when I got home was if Piper had a tooth yet. I could feel swelling and nubs in her mouth right before I left, but Brian said no. I stuck my finger in her mouth to feel around and sure enough she did have a tooth! Here are some of the other notable developmental milestones Piper has hit:

She walking quite a bit now for pretty long distances at a time
She eats pretty much everything we do, but we put everything she eats in a chopper
We think she’s said four words other than “abba” – “mama, dada, hi & Ellie”
She loves to play peek-a-boo
She loves to clap
She loves to wave

At her 9-month checkup the doctor was optimistic about Piper. There wasn’t really anything of concern. They poked her foot to get a blood sample to test her iron levels and everything was right where it should be. The only thing that’s challenging for us right now is still the sleep thing (more to come in another post about sleep advice from our sleep doula) and the fact that Piper’s a total busy body wiggle worm. It’s incredibly difficult to change her diaper or change her clothes because she’s just moving about all the time. As you can see from her nine month pic where her headband is around her neck, the girl plays with everything…

Thompson Peanut

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Doctor Appointments for Both

E is 3

Progress, Evolution & Perspective

What I’ve Learned this Year

Mommy for a Week

We made it a Year!

Piper’s 11 Months

Piper’s 10 Months!

Piper’s 9 Months